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Getting the immuable ball rolling

Big surprise, I'm depressed some more. It's difficult to pinpoint any one source, but there's this general feeling of insurmountable inertia that would put the biggest and heaviest icebreaker to shame. It's in the heavy bureaucracy, the attitude of people, the ever-present ads for insurance company, the traditionalist attitude, the enforced politeness, the overbearing smell of fear of change in the air. And here I am, an agent of chaos, of movement, valuing high manoeuvrability and careful instability, in this environment that more or less wants me to stop existing as I am.

I'm the most "normal" I've ever been, even as a child, and yet, I feel like I'm a complete weirdo. I used to take trips hundreds kilometres away at a whim, and now the most spontaneity I get to express is getting up to get some pudding from the fridge.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Dec. 5th, 2006 07:01 pm (UTC)

mmmmm .... pudding.

I guess it would make sense that if you've always "felt weird", then "being normal" would feel weird to you...
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )